Really, Guys Are Such Fags

This is a little note to the great majority of men...you may find it upsetting, guys, but it's true: YOU'RE GAY. Why do I say this, you may ask? Because you care abot penis size WAY more than the average female. I mean WAY more. This is excluding the fabled 'size queens,' but there are outliers on every graph.

Allow me to explain myself.
Most men would rather DIE then let people think he has a small dick. But what's a giant tonker really good for, anyway? I mean, really...is it really all that indicative of your personality, ability to make money, intelligence, or courage? No. And it really isn't connected to your sexual talent or prowess, or your ability to impregnate a woman. So what's the big deal?
Some men will claim that having a big dick gets you chicks. But come on...we don't want a manstrosity. Sure, Tiny Tim would require the knowledge of proper angles and positioning, but that's entirely plausible. I'm sure there are dicks out there that are too small, but only because the men attached to them don't make the effort to develop skill. Which might be because they have small dicks and have defeatist attitudes.
Too many guys who have big dicks just rely on the fact that their dicks are big, and wail away on their lady friends. Now, this can be nice, but sometimes (and I know this is an alien concept to some men), ladies like their men to be nice to them, and get them off. Wailing doesn't really do it all the time. Sure, she's yelling, but look at her face, kid; she don't look too happy.

The point of all this is that women don't really CARE how big your dick is. We care if you know what to do with it and we care if you're nice to us. MEN care how big dicks are.
Because they're gay.